2018

 Last year I moved out from my parents place and got my own flat, but it's not until now that I finally got around to buying a sofa and a shelf for my living room. Slowly, ever so slowly my home is taking shape. I think I still have a long way to go before this space have "my colors" but at least it's not as naked anymore.

The beginning of the year started good, January was a good month to be alive. 

Winter is still keeping a firm grip on Stockholm but I still live on the hope that we will get a gorgeous April. Not to mention that I really wish for a good summer this year since the last one was absolutely horrible. To be honest it felt like we didn't have a real summer even. So this year, sun and warmth, PLEASE COME HERE.


Let's see if I can keep up with blogging for a while. I don't think I will be able to fill this space with anything fundamental but I definitely feel like it could be good for me to get back in the groove and use this media as my outlet.

We'll see.

Cheers!
Li-Ah

This has been in my drafts since 2016...

Sometimes life is just out go get you.
Or so I've heard at least a handful of friends say.
But the thing is, that no matter where you are in life, what experiences you've gone through, life will always be the one thing which you cannot predict.

From one month to another, from a year to another, Monday to Tuesday, what exactly is going to happen, that we can't say in advance.
I know that most likely, come tomorrow morning, I will wake up and go to work.
I will greet my colleagues the same way I do every time, with a smile on my face.
But other than that, I don't know.
Which people am I going to meet during the day, which customers are we going to be in contact with, what am I going to have for lunch... (well, I do know what I am planning on having for sure, whether or not I will remember to bring my lunch with me to work however..)

A friend of mine is going through a hard time at the moment, struggling with accepting the reality of life at the moment, having trouble figuring out what to do and being unhappy with their work situation.
I can't do anything other than to listen.
Asking what they want to do differently, what they wish to do instead, it won't get us anywhere right now. Because when feeling so down and miserable as my friend is doing right now, finding a coping mechanism is what is necessary.
But it somehow makes me a bit upset, because I can't do anything.
My wonderful friend who always been here for me is struggling and I don't know what to do.
I said "let's bring up two goods things when you complain about one bad thing."
I seriously believe that we need to focus on the positive things in life. No matter how insignificant they seem.

But whom am I to say such things, I am quite content with my situation at the moment.
I am still struggling with myself and thing's have been a nightmare emotionally this year and some things are still uncertain. But I am alive, I have a job and my family is healthy.
What more can I dare to ask for?

So when a friend is struggling, I am afraid to show my own happiness.
But why should I? When we all know that happiness is a fleeting thing, it comes and goes.
So why shouldn't we savour it while we can, and store the memory of it for the days when the clouds are grey and the ground is cold and hard.

Don't be afraid to be happy, even if it's about a small thing. And don't be afraid to show your happiness to the world.
Some people will surely try to damper your happiness, it might be unintentional, it might be on purpose. But never let anyone question the reason for your smile.

Lots of thing's have changed since I started blogging.
I created my first account over at livejournal when I was 15 years old, a confused litte teenager with so many thoughts and dreams but with a way too heavy backpack full of awfully bad memories and nightmares to carry.
Thing's have changed while others have remained pretty much the same 8 years later.

If someone would ask me if I'm happy now I would say yes. I am happy. I love life more than ever, and sure, life sucks, life is hard sometimes, but being alive, that is something that I've come to truly appreciate.
Feelings and emotions are there to help us through life. It's a balance between too much and too little I suppose.
I still consider myself a child in many aspects, I'm still immature, I do stupid things, I get too proud, I get misunderstood and I mess up.
But I've realized that this isn't something that's necessary restricted to youngsters. No matter what age you are you can still mess up, intentionally or not.
It's a fact that I've gone from knowing to understanding. That's the only difference.

I don't own the world, I don't understand the world, but I try to respect it and the people in it.

I think it's safe to say that I'm more settled in myself now than I was 8 years ago.
It takes time to heal, it's nothing that I could rush through, I just simply found myself putting one foot ahead of the other and kept walking forward until it got easier to breathe.
I still have bad days, it's going up and down, but I've been told that it's normal. Of course it is.
The truth still stands. I feel more safe and true to myself for every passing year, the nightmares are still here, the bad memories still linger, but little by little the puzzle pieces are falling into place and I am happy.

Love life, Live life.

Because the smiles that belongs to you is what gives me wings.

"I just want to reach out and grasp your hand.
Give you a permanent place in my world, share some of my colors, my joy in life."


To be able to see all of you whenever I can, to know,
that even if we don't meet each other that often,
that what we have now is something precious,
that what we share, is something that we will be able to bring with us into the future and smile upon when remembering, even if we at some point in time forget these moments.
Living on is the proof of our past, of what we've done, what we've created..
Life itself tells us about what we are and what we can become.

The stories we tell our beloved ones, the adventures of the past,
the happy memories and the sad ones.
Because no matter what happens tomorrow, what we have now is the truth.
Tomorrow might be important but what I treasure is the moments I have today.

If being alive is what we truly care about then so be it.
The aspirations, the goals that we aim towards in order to fullfill our hearts desires is what raises our abilities to improve, to survive in a world that is constantly changing but yet as well is frozen stiff because of it's habits.
The world won't change just because one single person is trying.
But it doesn't mean that the rest of us should stop giving our best as well.

Long time no see, dear old blog!

So, I did not plan to stay away from this place for so long as I did. But stuff happened IRL that made me forget a lot of things.
But to keep the story short again, I got sick and it took me forever to get my butt outside the door and to the doctors office, and from there it's been a rough journey to get better.
I don't really know what happened but I presume that I got over worked and my body kept attacking itself, which resulted in me turning into the Grinch with all the being in constant pain and getting a high fever twice a week.
I got me some anti inflammatory pills and now things are mostly peachy, I just need to take care of my body more and make sure I don't strain myself too much again(did that a few times so now I think I've learnt my lessons..)
But some days are better than others, and I keep a positive outlook most of the time ;)
The only thing that's really bothering me is that I lost ALL my strenght in my hands and wrists and I get clumsy easily. It's so annoying how quickly you lose it, but it takes AGES to get it back and if I use my hands too much it will hurt like whoa the day after.

But anyway, I'm awesome and life is awesome.
Right now I'm studying my second semester at Stockholm University, this time I took on the Korean language and I'm thinking about getting an education to become an interpreter, but we'll see, I keep changing my mind and it makes it hard for me to decide what I really want to do with my life.
Right now I have a serious desire to move abroad because I feel like I'm suffocating here, I want to change environment completely and maybe re-connect with myself. (Hahah I'm having a life-crisis and I'm only turning 23 in April..)

just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming~

oh why thank you

Did someone get an offer to work for two more weeks? Again?!
yup.
Is someone happy?
yup.

To celebrate(not really the real purpose of the get-together) some friends and I gathered and made okonomiyaki and yakisoba yesterday.
A real treat with eda mame and Asahi-beer.

8 for you and 8 for me~

Anna and I almost emptied the shelf buying these bottles, and the looks we got inside the store..
Two young girls dragging a basket full of beer bottles. Looking good~!

Will post more photos of the dinner party whenever I get the strenght to battle my old laptop.(I don't have photoshop on this laptop and I need to edit the pictures before they hit the internet.lulz.)

collecting experiences

Long time no see, this is the person who doesn't update her blog as diligently as she wishes she did.
So. Long story short.
I've spent the last 11 weeks working my ass off at a factory nearby.
From the beginning it was just supposed to be nine weeks but I got an extension for another three and so, I'm entering my last week come monday morning.

The reason I wake up every morning and happily goes to work is not because the stuff I do there is fun.
It's because of all the awesome co-workers who makes it fun.
Everyone has their bad days of course, but being able to greet them all in the morning, and being able to smile at them and laugh with my fellow partner in crime for the summer, makes me a happy camper.

Anyhow, reading my previous entry I couldn't help but snort.
Because I wrote that I would have to work extra hard not to spend the money I earn on flight tickets to japan, among other things.
No, no flighttickets to japan, but a spanking new laptop and mobile I could afford.
And also, I'll probably put down some money on tickets to hong kong and taiwan instead since I might go there in january.

Save money. Yah, I'll save money alrighty, for my trip to asia.
Suppose buying a new camera and a tablet is out of the picture for now.
Can't complain thought, I'd much rather travel somewhere with the peeps I love and collect memories.