reverse homesickness

I don't really understand where this feeling comes from, but it feels like I'm suffering from some sort of reversed homesickness..
I've met a lot of people recently, both older friends and new people.
Maybe that's why..
But there's something else as well..
I still have this nagging feeling about being at the wrong place.
Like I'm supposed to do something right now, instead of being here.
There's strings going through my body and they're tearing me in different directions.
I can't define the feeling any more than this thought.. it's like there's this massive wall blocking out everything apart from this messed up confusion.

But I really need to clear my head from this, because I have an exam tomorrow and I can't afford messing things up.

It's at these times I wished I had someone I could speak about these matters with, without feeling like a total...idiot, for lack of other words.
It's not that I don't trust my friends, because I do. The thing is that I don't talk about these kind of things with other people. I never have. I don't open up that easily that people think I do.
It would never occur to me to be dishonest, but neither can I express myself properly.

I simply don't know how to do it. I don't understand how to do it. Without feeling uncomfortable...without forcing it.

It's strange how I don't mind listening to other people, about their lives and feelings, but when it comes to my own thoughts.. I freeze...

ok this is getting boring

I say, the snow has to go.
Like... in a week or two... please?
Not before sunday thought, we're going to go ice skating that day. Need the weather to be good. pretty please? ;)

Going to meet up with Mellon and Dino tomorrow(haha it's what they call each other, cute nicknames), will try to find some new shoes and maybe a shirt, but we'll see.
Should actually go to bed soon since I have to study in the morning.
ugh.. I'm getting so sick of studying.>_<

I've been thinking about following the trend and buy an iphone, but that will have to wait until later when I have more money. I already spent too much today.. (bought old volumes of vicious magazine)
Shipping from the US is insanely expensive, that's todays lesson.

Reason #1 for wanting an iphone:

So that I actually can read my emails and updates on twitter without experiencing the above...=_=

Distracted much?

Ett litet paket trillade ned genom brevlådan när jag satt i köket och pluggade(ni kan se lite exempel på min latmans-variant till kanji om ni kikar på bilden. Patetiskt försök, men pröva skriv 7 kapitel kanji-sammansättningar överdrivet många gånger och se sen själva om ni orkar skriva fint. D:).
Så jag tog mig en välbekänt(?) paus för att öppna brevet.
Inte helt oväntat var det ögonskuggan och mascaran som jag beställde förra veckan. ;)
Plus lipsylet(staaavning?!) för män, som jag blev så överdrivet förtjust i första gången jag var i Japan.
Verkar vara en nyare variant dock för den har fått en ny fin klädsel och slightly annorlunda doft.
Inte lika stark kanske men fortfarande sjukt friskt att ha på läpparna.
Mascaran var väl det som var mest hit or miss med, för jag har aldrig prövat märket förr.
Gillade den skarpt men det lär nog ta ett tag innan jag lärt mig hantera borsten ordentligt(den är annorlunda gentemot den vanliga varianten som dom flesta är vana vid).
Ögonskuggan har jag inte prövat än förutom lite på handryggen men färgerna var precis som jag förväntade mig.
Det värsta med det här är ju att man bara blir galet sugen på att beställa mer smink, nu när jag vet att sidan är pålitlig och snabb dessutom.

Men det är ett annat kapitel av en annan historia. Nu är det dags att återvända till kapitlen om kanji. Fyy vad trött jag börjar bli. Har aldrig tyckt om att plugga. xD

You've been reading fragments from FiGURE's world, thank you and take care.  Until next time!

あけおめ！！Happy new year, Gott nytt år.

First post of the year should most definitely include some sort of new year greetings.
I went to a friends place yesterday, for some nice and quiet company.
Not that we were that quiet..8(?) people in the same room cannot be that quiet..
We played one or two drinking games after dinner and almost missed when the clock passed twelve.
It was a really splendid night :)

The only thing I regret was that minttu shot(50% >_>_>_>)
Taste good but yeah...
It took me almost three hours(Don't remember when I leftXD) to get home, around halv past five I crawled down in my own bed.
After a horrible ride in the metro which ended with me having to get off a few stations earlier because of the lack of air inside. I almost fainted. x'D (I had pretty much sobered up by this point thankfully..I only got tipsy thought..)
Then it was the nightbus.
Oh my beloved nightbus.
Crammed with people all ages, drunk or sober, CRAMMED to the limits, noisy people.
Motion sickness is something I easily get whenever I'm tired, and it only gets worse when there's too much noise around me.
So yes, I felt rathet weary when I got home, but at least I managed to controll my nausea. Thankfully enough, I sat right infront of one of the doors so I could get some fresh air, it helped. ^^
But I do feel sorry for those poor youngsters in the middle of nowhere at 4 in the morning, who were waiting for the bus, only to realize that they won't get on it because it's already full..
Especially since there was like one bus per hour.. >_<
It happened so many times..  but at least the driver kept a good mood through the whole journey, kudos to him. ^^


Next of my list of things to do is a shower and breakfast. Gott nytt.